April 28, 2018

Brian Kellow

In an email from Kushi today, we learned:

Sorry this has been so long in coming—between readjusting to being back home (and the feline insanity going on as the big boys from FL and Betty are figuring out their territories and relationships) and spending as much time with Brian at New York Presbyterian (and not knowing quite what to report, since  things are in flux) and then just needing a certain amount of time to just “switch off” and veg in front of the TV, where I inevitably drop off to sleep…well, you get the picture.

Brian has been in the hospital since two days after we got back home. He had another seizure, which landed him in the ER at NYPrez, four blocks from our apartment. He had been backsliding for about three weeks, inexplicably. Perhaps it was detoxing from the steroids he’d been on since October.

Or perhaps it’s a “GOK” (God Only Knows). At any rate, he was no longer able to stand or walk, and his left-side neglect was worse than ever: his left arm and hand were held tight against his chest, and he could no longer raise the arm without the aid of his right hand. Also his beautiful memory was now also seriously affected; not only the short term, which had been iffy for some time, but also the long-term, including his birth date, the names and faces of the Hollywood performers he knew so well (he got furious at me when I told him that Jane Wyman and Ann Blyth were not Barbara Hale. Brian could normally pick Della Street out of a crowd of a thousand),  and even the number and names of his own biographies.

It was decided to implant a shunt to relieve the swelling of his ventricles (who knew there were ventricles in the brain? I only knew of the ones in the heart…) Dr. Guy McKhann, the same neurosurgeon who removed the glioblastoma in October, performed the surgery. It was a bit more involved than anticipated (evidently there was some scar tissue or something) but Brian has had no post-op pain, and already he is more responsive and his left arm is responding slowly.

Sometime in the next couple of days, Brian is slated to go to an acute rehab facility, which will deal intensively with his cognitive issues, as well as the physical ones. I will let you know which one, and for how long (if they can tell me), as soon as I know.

He still experiences a great deal of anxiety, getting worse as the evening draws on. And since the docs needed to up his steroids again, he continues to be jumpy, which also increases. They had him on some Ativan last week, but it really knocks him out, and it causes amnesia. I found out that he had no memory of the folks who had visited him during the first week in the hospital!

He is still conflating what he sees on TV (even older stuff: we watched ADVISE and CONSENT, and he kept asking me which part of it was a movie, and which was real life…) with his earlier life in Oregon, and 2018. And he worries that he’s not doing something that he’s supposed to be doing. He’ll overhear a discussion between hospital staffers, and thinks that it is his job to keep tabs on his meds, or his urine output, or similar.

I keep assuring him that his only job is to do what they tell him, and to get stronger and healthier. But I think he tells me he understands just to placate me.

If you are in the area, I think short visits are in order. It does him good to see familiar faces, and to keep reorienting to his life here. He still occasionally identifies his location as Miami.

The movers are late making it up the Eastern seaboard, so his Miami stuff is not arriving until the 30th-ish. At which time, the authorities will swoop in and put me on “Hoarders and Clutterers” for all the world to see.

Brian is not really able to read his email, and he’s not so interested in the phone (mostly because it’s nearly impossible for him to deal with, having use of only his right hand). You can certainly email me, or call. I’ll pick up when I can, and try to be good about getting back within a day or two.

Love from Kushi


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Please ask your Divine Spirit Teachers and Guides to continue to send Strong Healing Prayers to Brian, and wrap both Brian and Kushi in a Blue Blanket of Healing while Brian continues his treatment, and Kushi provides World-Class Caregiver attention to Brian.

And may your Good Deeds be returned to you, many-fold.  Thank you all, very much!

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